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A Tale of Human Void
My name is Charles Barken. I was born in England in 1914, on a cold winter's day on the floor of my mother's art studio. In 1920 we relocated to America, where I grew up; separated and isolated because of my origins, my unconvincing demeanour and my false mannerisms. In 1935 I moved to Japan, to the mountains of the Gunma Prefecture; to escape the escalating war. I could speak not a lick of Japanese, save for pleasantries, so hardly associated myself with the outside world, preferring to withdraw into complete solidarity; fearing the boiling of the war would spill into my sanctuary, like milk into oats; destroying the foundations of my life. So dependant I became on this fear that when the war came to a close, I no longer had emotion to drive me.
In my desperation to find emotional redemption I travelled to Okinawa; one empty man in a sea of hopeless faces. The rest of my life is a void. I had a routine, manners, a personality I could apply like a kabuki actor applies face paint. I was
what love is not.it was a s l o p p y first kiss where
my drunk lips fumbled against yours.
the dull thwack of my heart,
locked behind curved ribs
cleared my groggy brain,
clouded with lustful premonitions.
it was an e l e c t r i f y i n g first kiss where
you entwined your hands in my hair.
your mouth encompassed mine and
my breath became lost in the steady
of your chest.
it was a s h y first kiss where
i pulled away before you could explore.
your tongue grazed my teeth,
searching for a way past the ivory gates.
i dug my finger into the stubble along your jaw,
my nail lulling your carnal desires.
it was my first kiss with you.
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